Forgiving...

Have you ever been hurt? Are you quick to forgive, or do you hold a grudge? Most of the time how much forgiveness is given out, is directly proportionate to the amount of pain that was inflicted. When someone hurts us, we lose something; as a matter of fact it is more like they steal something from us. They steal joy, love, dignity, respect, or maybe some self worth. Whether it is directly through a divorce, abuse, cheating and the like, or maybe indirectly through backstabbing, gossip, or even neglect.

Whatever the pain, we believe that it creates a debt that they now owe us. And how much or even if we are willing to forgive depends mostly on the size of this debt we feel we are owed, right? I have heard it said some people are just “better” people and can be more forgiving…huh? If that is true, then forgiveness is an act of the will and the stronger your will power, the more you are able to forgive. Well, I think that is just what it sounds like – a load, and a load of something other than the truth.

I want you to consider something: forgiveness is not an act of the will, because forgiving is not based on us. To be perfectly honest, some things just seem to be unforgivable. All too often we look at forgiveness as some sort of release of responsibility to the offending party, and that the longer we go not forgiving them, the longer they will suffer…sorry, but that just is not true.

Forgiveness is not something that you give to someone else…like letting them off the hook for how they hurt you. Forgiveness is something that has its greatest impact on the one doing the forgiving. When we forgive we are the ones who are letting go of the anger to hurt the one who hurt us. Don’t race past this part…it is the key. When we forgive someone, we are the ones getting off the hook. It’s because that pain is a hook into our past that keeps on hurting only as long as we allow it, that keeps us looking back instead of moving forward, and it is a hook that has no hope for the future but only regret for the past.

How can we be more forgiving then? To keep it really simple, we can only give out forgiveness in the quantity to which we have experienced it. In other words you can’t give what you don’t have. God forgives us for all we have ever done or will ever do, and that is a powerful amount of forgiveness you need to experience. Look at what Paul told the church in Ephesus:

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32 (NIV)

Stop holding on to these hurts so tightly, and let the experience of God’s forgiveness bring you to the place of being forgiving…it will change everything…

…just sayin’

In His Grip,

Pastor Pat