Who Are You Working For?

I do several weddings a year, and although each one is unique in its own personal way, just as the individuals getting married are, it is always a strong reminder about what it means to get married. The ceremony is merely a day. Some days come with great anticipation and extravagant costs; some with the helping hands of friends and family, and while others come quietly after a Sunday gathering at church. All in all, they really are just a day. Circumstances, situations, locations, and libations make up some of the differences, but one thing is always the same -- the wedding ceremony.

There is a lot of coordinated effort to pull off a wedding, and there are thousands of ways to do it and thousands of dollars that can be spent - that all comes down to personal preferences, priorities, and resources I suppose. But all the work and countless sleepless nights to pull it all together to do it do not mean anything when it comes to making a marriage last - that takes work of a whole other kind.

At the core of the weddings I perform, is the Gospel, and we focus on our commitment to Christ as the center of the ceremony and the expected center of the marriage. Why? Because without a commitment to Jesus first, marriage doesn't stand a chance. God designed it, and so it would seem only fitting to follow His instructions for it, right?

Why this topic today? Because at my physical therapy appointment, I overheard a sad statement a man made about his marriage. He said: "All I am really doing is whatever she wants, so I can have what I want...basically I am working for sex". He followed up his question quickly with "You know what I mean, right?". I was getting ice on my knees and back, but I wanted to answer...

If I was part of the conversation, this is what I would have said: "Is that what your marriage is...a job?" and "Your compensation is what?". Yes, I would have asked those questions, and I would have loved to have a conversation after. I sat wondering how many marriages end up like this - not divorced, but simply working for sex? What a sad, sad statement about a holy covenant. What happened to the vows? What happened to all the hope and promise of a future together? I will tell you...it got old.

At some point in most of our relationships, we start to feel that we are not getting our fair share, and some way or another we feel the other person is not giving as much as he or she should be, and we start to grow apart. There are a thousand stories about how and why marriages drifted apart, and I have heard more than my share. Want to know a secret: Not one of those marriages that found themselves in a bad place could ever say that they followed Jesus there...NOT ONE.

They followed their feelings, and what they felt they did or did not deserve in a marriage, and before they knew it they were lost - wondering if they could ever get back to the marriage they once had. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you can't go back, you can only go forward. But the good news is that forward can and will be better if you change who you will follow there. Plain and simple, Jesus did not take you and your marriage (or relationship) to the place of broken where you are, but He can take you to a place better than anything you could ask for or imagine, if you are simply willing to follow. Look at this passage:

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men," Colossians 3:23 NIV.

What would your marriage or relationship look like if you lived out this verse of Scripture? Well, would it or could it look the same? I bet not. I tell every couple before I marry them, "LOVE" will not sustain their commitment, but their commitment can and will sustain their love if they are willing. Willing to put the other person and your commitment first.

It is easy to live for yourself. As a matter of fact, it takes almost no effort at all. Living for someone else is impossible, but not with Christ. With Christ, His Word tells us all things are possible, and that is why Christ needs to be the center of any healthy marriage. When you work for Him, the rewards are so much greater than temporary physical satisfaction - much, much more!

So you want your marriage or relationship to work or to take it to the next level then I guess it all depends on who you are willing to working for.

...just sayin'

In His Grip,

Pastor Pat

So What Is First?

Do you have your priorities set? Seriously, do you respond or react to things around you, based on a set of priorities you previously decided on? I have to be honest, and say that for the most part, my priorities used to be completely based on the situation or circumstance I was facing. I would live doing what I though was most important at the time or for the time - work for example. Then as things would pop up, as they usually did, I would act or better, react, according to the need at hand as I saw fit.

This seemed to work for the most part. I say the most part, because if by working I meant getting by and surviving, then it was working perfectly. But I didn't want to just "get by" or "survive". I wanted to do what I thought was most important to me, and not just what was important to the moment (or for the moment).

So I had to step back and choose: what matters most. Where to start? So many choices I thought. So I went to the Bible and looked to see what God wanted me to put first. I didn't have to look far, and I found it in the second book of the Bible, Exodus. Seems that even though God had created everything with a plan and a purpose, they too lost their way as to what mattered most, pretty early on. God didn't mince His words either, and gave us a "Top Ten" for us to follow to offer us help. And guess what number one on God's list was for us? God.

“I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me." Exodus 20:2, 3

God first? Seems logical, but it is not just God first, it is no other gods before Him. What this means is God should matter most to us, and we should avoid loving anything more than God. Sounds pretty simple, and most believers would profess God as their number one priority. That's not the problem. The problem is we leave Him there (on the list) and then live out the rest of our priorities as they happen.

I am not suggesting that we stop living, but merely rearrange whom we are living for. God first does not mean going to church seven days a week. It simply means that God is what you think about first in everything you do. If you want beautiful eyes, look for what is beautiful in everything. If you want to see God first, then look for God first in everything. It doesn't change everything...just the way we see it, and that changes everything.

...just sayin"

In His Grip,
Pastor Pat

SAY WHAT??

As Father's Day rapidly approaches, I know it brings with it a myriad of feelings. Some are fond memories of dad, some not so much, and even some horrible. Whatever your memories of your dad or absence of, they are your memories. If yours are bad, I just want to tell you now how sorry I am for that.

Dads make a difference. Dads have an impact whether they know it or not. One area where dads have powerful influence is in what they choose to say. I am not talking about what is said to our children, but just what is said in general. Sounds simple, but what dads say is often more impactful than what they tell their children.

As a dad I know all too often, there is a big difference between what we tell our children they should do or say, and what we say (or how we say it). Funny, but have you ever found yourself yelling at your kids to stop yelling? Or screamed in a somewhat foul manner demanding them to speak respectfully? You're not alone...I never have, but - just kidding...

I am not writing to admonish or correct dads for how you speak to your children, relax. What I am asking is that we would consider why we speak the way we do, and the words we choose to use when doing so. We have a Heavenly Father who loves us unconditionally and has given us a model of fatherhood, and He gave us all kinds of useful truths we could apply to parenting. Problem is that we really don't consider them truths at all, but more like helpful tips to be used if we so choose.

We want to claim some promises in God's Word that benefit us and then look at other areas of His Word as optional. Every promise of Scripture is conditional, and every promise is true if we do our part. God's Word is not just a great bunch of stories, but a practical resource for our lives. One place where it should start is with our words, and especially how and what we say to our children.

"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry," James 1:19.

Don't swear to do better, just do it. Don't swear not to yell any more, just stop it. This works for all our communications too. What do your words say about you? How do you deliver those words, and what does that say? Angry? Interrupted? Tired...? Maybe it's time we decided to stop using whatever words pop into our minds at the time, and carefully choose the ones we want others to hear coming out of us. Because after all, if we expect God to be as good as His Word...shouldn't we then be as good as ours?

...just sayin'

In His Grip,

Pastor Pat

Convicted or Confused?

Confusing? Where does confusion come from? I am not just asking about math here, because that is almost always the case with me, but about those times in your life when things don't go the way they should or maybe you thought they would. Those times when things go differently than we would have expected or hoped. These are the times when confusion happens.

Let's be honest - to consider the question, let alone answer the question, "Where does confusion come from?",  is at best confusing, right? Look at this passage:

"For God is not  the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints." 1 Corinthians 14:33 (NKJV)

So if God is not the author of confusion, then who is? Us? Satan? Both I would say, and that really doesn't matter. What matters is that is is not God. This happens with church all the time. We use big theological terms and have programs to try and explain what people need to know and not know about God, the Bible, and Jesus. Wanna know something? Wanna know the truth? It's not that complicated...

Know Jesus and Know Truth or No Jesus and No Truth. When Jesus was asked to explain which of the 700+ laws was the most important ones, he answered simply:

Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40.

So basically He told us to love God and to love others. That is pretty simple. If then this is what matters most, it becomes a lot less confusing if we look at situations and circumstances in relation to those principles, right? Seriously, if we look at everything through the perspective of Jesus' words about loving God or loving others and let our hearts be convicted, then our actions will follow.

So the path from confusion to conviction happens when we can look to Him and His Words for our answers, regardless of timing. Then we should let His Words convict our hearts, then guide our actions, so we can let go of our feelings.  Then, we can overcome our natural tendency of being confused and hold on to only what He can provide: Peace. Peace is of God and from God, and that you can count on with no confusion.

...just sayin'

In His Grip,

Pastor Pat