Who Are You Working For?

I do several weddings a year, and although each one is unique in its own personal way, just as the individuals getting married are, it is always a strong reminder about what it means to get married. The ceremony is merely a day. Some days come with great anticipation and extravagant costs; some with the helping hands of friends and family, and while others come quietly after a Sunday gathering at church. All in all, they really are just a day. Circumstances, situations, locations, and libations make up some of the differences, but one thing is always the same -- the wedding ceremony.

There is a lot of coordinated effort to pull off a wedding, and there are thousands of ways to do it and thousands of dollars that can be spent - that all comes down to personal preferences, priorities, and resources I suppose. But all the work and countless sleepless nights to pull it all together to do it do not mean anything when it comes to making a marriage last - that takes work of a whole other kind.

At the core of the weddings I perform, is the Gospel, and we focus on our commitment to Christ as the center of the ceremony and the expected center of the marriage. Why? Because without a commitment to Jesus first, marriage doesn't stand a chance. God designed it, and so it would seem only fitting to follow His instructions for it, right?

Why this topic today? Because at my physical therapy appointment, I overheard a sad statement a man made about his marriage. He said: "All I am really doing is whatever she wants, so I can have what I want...basically I am working for sex". He followed up his question quickly with "You know what I mean, right?". I was getting ice on my knees and back, but I wanted to answer...

If I was part of the conversation, this is what I would have said: "Is that what your marriage is...a job?" and "Your compensation is what?". Yes, I would have asked those questions, and I would have loved to have a conversation after. I sat wondering how many marriages end up like this - not divorced, but simply working for sex? What a sad, sad statement about a holy covenant. What happened to the vows? What happened to all the hope and promise of a future together? I will tell you...it got old.

At some point in most of our relationships, we start to feel that we are not getting our fair share, and some way or another we feel the other person is not giving as much as he or she should be, and we start to grow apart. There are a thousand stories about how and why marriages drifted apart, and I have heard more than my share. Want to know a secret: Not one of those marriages that found themselves in a bad place could ever say that they followed Jesus there...NOT ONE.

They followed their feelings, and what they felt they did or did not deserve in a marriage, and before they knew it they were lost - wondering if they could ever get back to the marriage they once had. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you can't go back, you can only go forward. But the good news is that forward can and will be better if you change who you will follow there. Plain and simple, Jesus did not take you and your marriage (or relationship) to the place of broken where you are, but He can take you to a place better than anything you could ask for or imagine, if you are simply willing to follow. Look at this passage:

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men," Colossians 3:23 NIV.

What would your marriage or relationship look like if you lived out this verse of Scripture? Well, would it or could it look the same? I bet not. I tell every couple before I marry them, "LOVE" will not sustain their commitment, but their commitment can and will sustain their love if they are willing. Willing to put the other person and your commitment first.

It is easy to live for yourself. As a matter of fact, it takes almost no effort at all. Living for someone else is impossible, but not with Christ. With Christ, His Word tells us all things are possible, and that is why Christ needs to be the center of any healthy marriage. When you work for Him, the rewards are so much greater than temporary physical satisfaction - much, much more!

So you want your marriage or relationship to work or to take it to the next level then I guess it all depends on who you are willing to working for.

...just sayin'

In His Grip,

Pastor Pat